Thursday, June 14, 2012

Hangin' Me Up

Funny, how just when things begin to go right, be right, and feel right, one thing - just one - can change the course so profoundly.

My mother moved into an assisted living apartment. I went to see how things were going after work and while there Mom was explaining the days activities: My brother-in-law hung the pictures Mom had chosen to take with her. She is allowed to hang just about anything on the walls.

The arrangement of pictures is very attractive - my bro-in-law had done a wonderful job. In the middle of largest wall was a space in the middle of the picture arrangement where nothing was placed (about 3 feet square). Mom explained that that was the place she was saving for my youngest sister's grandkids - my sister's first and both of her son's wives are pregnant.

It may have taken me quite awhile to notice that my oldest daughter's picture, the one I searched for many years to find, was not there. Nor were her kids. However, Mom suddenly felt the need to let me know that, "...We just didn't know where to hang "her" pictures, so we just didn't."

:(

I'm unbelievbly hurt.
And no one to talk to.
I don't know how to unravel the twisted pain.
Waves of tears wash over me taking me back
to the places where I used to be.
Where I don't want to be. And Colors flow and
dance and become who they are.

2 comments:

Child of God said...

I am so sorry for this pain. The pain of a parents rejection can be unbearable. I'm praying for you girl, that God will come in and fill that hurt with His complete love that He has for you. He is one parent that will never, ever reject you.

Praying you will see His love for you in a tangible way.

<><

Grace said...

Sweet Ivory, I am so so sorry!
I csnt imagine the pain you are in and you feel so alone in your pain. Its so hurtful that the people who are supposed to love us the most can't show us any love. But that is not your fault.
I'm so sorry for your pain
(((Ivory))))