Saturday, November 5, 2011

Here I Go Again - PTSD

Life goes along and then bump. Well, actually it's not a bump, but a mountain. And the mountain is alive and coming after me.

Finding a working relationship with my birth daughter was moving along as if we'd never been separated. My other daughter has been an absolute angel and loves the idea of a sister.

Then, because my birth daughter had adopted some special needs children, she is now overwhelmed with that responsibility. Her husband left her just 2 years after they adopted these wonderful kids and walked out of their lives as if he had no part in the adoption.

I don't have a lot of money, that's what she needs most right now, but she is determined to pull herself together and make a home for these kids. I have promised to be support and to help when I can, as has her sister.

I never knew until now just daunting it is to want to help someone so badly, and can't. Well, I can be support, in name only. I feel like a failure. The PTSD tears have started again. They just bubble up and out and the most inopportune times. Again, I feel I'm failing her. I need to keep it together.



Angela Wheelock said...

Hi Ivory,
Small world. I, too, am a birth (first) mother struggling with PTSD, relationships of adoption and more. Yesterday, I did a post on my blog about when my PTSD makes life hard and it was also about money.

Anyway, you might enjoy it. Your posting made me feel better to see others with similar issues.


Kate said...

I'm sorry that it feels this way, very frustrating. For sure you are doing something and making a difference for her. Good and healing thoughts to you all.


Exhale said...

Knowing that others care, helps us get up in the morning and face the day when all seems hopeless. Just being there to support her with your presence or you voice is priceless...

Just Be Real said...

((((Ivory))) I am so very sorry for your recent struggles now dear one.

d'Artagnan said...

*virtual hug*

Ivory said...

Thanks, Angela. I'm definitely going to come by and read your blog! It is so so hard sometimes.

Kate, I love it that you are always here for me.

Exhale, sometimes, I feel as if I can't do a thing at all to help her. Listening is sometimes feels so shallow.

JBR and d'Artagnan - thanks for reading and always being such wonderful support.