One of my favorite quotes from Six Days Seven Nights is "If you don't bring it here, you won't find it here," says Quinn (Harrison Ford) to Robin (Anne Heche) when she makes the comment that people come to the island to find romance.
The process of healing is like that. There is no quick fix, and absolutely no one can spur it on; you are the catalist, it is up to you. No one can give you healing or tell you where to find it; they can only share the experience with you.
Healing happens when we aren't aware we are healing. Time. I believe that time heals all, or most, wounds, or at least time can shelter the wound until we find a way to cope/accept it. Some wounds just take longer than others. We have to be patient. Hard to do, but I believe patience allows us to let go of the frustrtion of wanting something immediately and not getting it.
We live in a world of instant gratification - healing, does not.