Home Again, Safe At Last -- That is a quote in the children's book, The Berenstain Bears and the Spooky Old Tree.
I used to read that book to my daughter and would hold her tight while we read it and I'd tell her she was safe - not to worry or be afraid. There was always a sigh of relief when I would read those words to her. Until now, I didn't fully understand that huge shaky sigh.
This evening, after 4 weeks, I had a session with Mr.S. I really felt jittery and skittish when I first went thru the door (that's a post for "things I don't say"), but after only a moment or so, the familiarity was back and we were on to what brought me there.
I was surprised as how easily I talked about myself, after 4 weeks of complete radio silence on any subject about me. I find it very difficult to be so introverted and quiet - by nature, I'm out-going. But on the other hand, I've been very worried because I've been diagnosed as having cluster headaches. So far, I've had a headache for a whole month - without relief. I finally forced myself to go to my family Dr.
Therein lies the "unsafe" part and why I was so afraid. I don't know about any of you, but I am absolutely terrified that someone will find out I have DID. Who better to get it out of me than my family Dr.? It could totally ruin me, because I believe that most people wouldn't understand, or even want to. I resisted going to get help until I nearly had to go to the emergency room - OMG that would have been worse!
After talking it over (again) with Mr.S, I feel safe and secure, as I always do when this particular problem crops up. Just going to therapy made me feel Home Again, Safe At Last... ...SSssiigghhh...