Friday, May 6, 2011

Mind Toys 2

Okay, this just happened over the past few weeks. I waited to write about it so I could give the whole story. So, Coworker, who is constantly competing with me has outdone herself again. Honestly, I just go about my life and, one day, I realize Coworker has been competing with me or tring to be the same as me. It's silly to me, but then, that's part of her problem with OCD. I really should be more understanding... ... well, really, I should be more understanding, however, it's part of my problem with a 17 year old who belives the bitch really needs to be put in her place - who cares about OCD, anyway?

So, what happened is that I was discussing the new smartphones with the lady on my left one day and Coworker acted like she wasn't listening. Then a few days later, during yet another discussion about smartphones, she pipes up and says, "those are worthless, you'll just be wasting your money. They are too hard to understand." (Yes, she's nuts)

This went on for a few weeks as both my coworkers tried to convince me not to get a smartphone when my contract with Verizon was up. I could tell that Lady on my Left was beginning to break - she wanted a smartphone but has only one income and didn't think she could afford it. We began discussing the BEST smartphone. Lady is with a differnt carrier so we had many short discussions that week. Coworker had also begun asking questions about my service as she is on yet another different service. She, too, began to break.

What eventually happened is that Coworker happened to piss me off one day 3 weeks ago and here's what happened:

Coworker was driving me to assult and battery and I began to imagine her without eyes. Then one day, she asked a question about my new Thunderbolt. I answered her and said "I love my phone." Coworker kept asking questions about the Thunderbolt and I told her there were no problems and I showed her pictures of my grandkids, the neighbors dogs, trees, etc so she could actually see how big the display was. Coworker drives us all nuts with constantly wanting to show pictures of her grandkids - hundreds of 'em (pictures, not kids).

Coworker loved the display, so I showed her a finger paint program that her young grandkids would love. She was hooked. Ordered a new DroidX (I told her that I decided between DroidX and Thunderbolt). Okay, this woman knows nothing about computers and can't handle any kind of change. She bought a DroidX, up from a secondhand phone that texts only by giving you 3 letters at a time and making you scroll thru them to choose one! Can you see what's coming?

Last Friday, she told me she had ordered the phone and it should be in that day. I sat there allowing the 17 year old to smile. We loved it! Hooked!

The first phone call from her came in about 2 hours after I'd left work for the weekend. Coworker didn't know how to activate her new phone. The second call came Saturday evening. Coworker had gone to the Verizon store asking for help in activating her new phone. They wouldn't help her because she hadn't bought it there! OMG. Okay, that's just wrong, but there was still this little tiny spark of satisfaction on it. Anyway, Coworker now has to pay $25 to attend a class - 65 miles away - so she can learn how to use her new phone.

I'm guessing she won't keep it. A few years back she bought a Blackberry and didn't keep it more than 4 days. I'm guessing that by Tuesday, she will be returning it, but at least she will be leaving me alone because I use the excuse that it is soooo different from the Thunderbolt I really can't help her. [smiles]

Another day in the life.

Update! Oh, you are going to absolutely love this! Today, Lady on my Left and I spent nearly ALL day trying to find a way to transfer Coworker's contacts from her old phone to her DroidX (I don't mean "previous phone", I mean that phone is damn old). I kept telling them it wouldn't work because of the formating and that she should take it to her previous carrier and BEG them to do it for her. By the end of the day, I had snuck Coworkers phone away from Lady and gave it back to her. She had run off to have that done.

What is so funny now is that all afternoon, Coworker kept asking me to "send" her some of my apps. I tried to explain to her that she could just download Android AppMarket and download them there, but she doesn't understand, so I tried to send them via Bluetooth. Each of our phones blamed it on the other phone as to why it always failed: Hers said mine withdrew the request, mine said hers refused the file! Isn't that sweet? Anyway, so where this is all going to is here. It ends with just 1 well said little sentence before Coworker bolted out of the door at 2 pm to go play with her new phone (that vibrates, too):

Coworker: [Comes and sits on my desk. ] Says with plagerized authority, "So why all this fuss all day long trying to do ALL this? [As she talks, she is punching at her phone trying to open folder after folder to get to the part of her sound app that turns her phone ringer up.]

Ivory: [Smiles so sweetly.] Says, "I spent the first entire weekend with my phone working with it, playing with it, downloading apps that give me shortcuts, or whatever I need, to make my phone more personable, so I don't have to do... THAT. [Points to Coworker who still hasn't figured out where that darn button is and is still punching away at it.]

Coworker: "Well, I'm not going to be one of THOSE people who sit all day long and play with their phone. I have a life. [Stands, tilts nose into the air.]

Ivory: "Exactly, you have a life, and unless you take that vibrating phone home and spend the weekend getting to know it, playing with it, adding some fun stuff to it and coaxing out all it's secrets, you're going to spend most of that precious life frustrated, trying to punch in those poor damn soft keys."

Uhmmfpt, and she turned around and walked away. I started laughing.

The next call from her came in 3 hours later: "Is it normal on these things to get calls from China and New York that hang up when I try to answer them?"    O-o

-- Yea, tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of Google, I will fear no Apple --
From the Forums

8 comments:

Just Be Real said...

What a nutt case.

I love this: "Exactly, you have a life, and unless you take that vibrating phone home and spend the weekend getting to know it, playing with it, adding some fun stuff to it and coaxing out all it's secrets, you're going to spend most of that precious life frustrated, trying to punch in those poor damn soft keys."

Blessings to you Ivory.

Ivory said...

JBR, actually, it's not difficult for me to LIKE Coworker, she's just well... well, I'm not sure how to describe her exactly other than extremely technically challanged!

Journal of Healing said...

Ivory: "Exactly, you have a life, and unless you take that vibrating phone home and spend the weekend getting to know it, playing with it, adding some fun stuff to it and coaxing out all it's secrets, you're going to spend most of that precious life frustrated, trying to punch in those poor damn soft keys." HAHAHAHAHHA! OH SH$%, that made me laugh...somehow you guys managed to work a pretty inappropriate joke into that, unbeknownst to her, probably. How genius. Have fun watching her set up camp in the valley of google.

Ivory said...

JoH, Oh, I'm having some fun already. It has provided some gaiety in an otherwise dull week. I can't wait till next week to see what she did about the China/NYC calls!

Bee said...

Oh Ivory! You got me laughing pretty hard!! Hahaha! Genius :)

*Bee

Ivory said...

Bee - Yeah. I sometimes feel a bit mean by posting it all here, but darn. Ya know?

Grace said...

Awesome! "be the phone, Ivory, be the phone."
I have the EVO (sprints version of the thunderbolt) and luv it!

Ivory said...

Grace, Yes! Be the Phone! I'm having wayyy tooo much fun with this.