Monday, May 16, 2011


Okay, you all are the only people I can talk to about this, well, or about anything, actually. Anyway, I need some advice.

Coworker, has major issues and doesn't hesitate to use "illnesses" card at work to avoid having to actually DO work. Her space looks like a living room and she rearranges the grandkids pictures at least 3 times a week. She, like all the other members of my unit, is "grandfathered" in.

What I mean is that they have all been there, evolving, feeding off each other's personal lives and rejecting any kind of change for about 12 years (Coworker and a couple others have been there only 7-8 years). They always say, "That's the way we've always done it." I am the ONLY person who has a degree, but I am the butthole of the dog. No one likes that I have a degree and they never hesitate to let me know it. Here's what happened:

Coworker has emotional/mental issues. She is very much OCD/OCP and does nothing to control it. If she percieves a task at point B and she is at point A, she will plow over babies and step on dogs to get to point B to complete her task, and then say, "Well, you all know me, I wouldn't hurt anybody."

She is going out into the community, and blabbing agency business, she has recently called a local business and encouraged an employee to gossip about her manager and then Coworker went and told at least 3 other people (I over heard), that the store is in trouble. That is so unethical! OMG! Then, Coworker went to a meeting that I couldn't attend because of appointments, and proceded to blab stuf there that she shouldn't have blabbed, and then told them not to send us any information about a certain group of people any more. She included me in her delusion. I had to email them and eat crow and humble pie and let them know that we still do indeed need that information. Thank you.

So my question is wrapped up in this:

I couldn't take it all anymore, so I went to my supervisor and talked with her. I have been encouraged many times to "come talk about issues...". Previously, for this particular issue, I have talked to Coworker, then to Lead, then to Coworker, then to Lead, then to Coworker, then I talked to Supervisor. The result of ALL that was to have a mtg today so i could confront Coworker - again. They said she had also had issues with me, but she never brought them up, she just kept saying, "Well, I wouldn't hurt anyone..." Then they ended the meeting by saying, "come to us when you have problems."

I thot that's what I was doing. What do they mean by saying for us to come to them? When I come to them, they just have a meeting and expect me to confront Coworker - which I do to a point - and then... nothing. They always tell me I'm just not feeling well, or that Coworker has some personal stuff going on. (that's the biggy). So. What am I doing wrong?  I thot I went there to work, not sift thru everyone's personal shit. I can't work when I have to carry that burden, too. What should I do?

ps. I'm already looking for another job, but I have to find a way to make this work for now.


Kerro said...

Hi Ivory, I'm so pleased to hear that you're looking for another job, because that was going to be my only suggestion. You can't change these people - move on.

That being said, I understand you need to make it tolerable for yourself, at least in the short term. Are you doing the "when you do X, it has y impact" or "when you squash babies to get to your task, we all feel creeped out"? Have you pointed out that everyone has personal issues to deal with, but you all have a job to do?

I don't envy you, but hang in there.

Ivory said...

Hi Kerro. I have pointed out several times that when I was hired, I signed papers, one of which said I would leave my personal stuff at home and not disrupt the office with it. Because they all have been there so long, they didn't sign anything like that and don't believe that I did. Most people with OCD or OCP, really can't be reasoned with because they have little insight, they only see the task. Anything in between point A and B is collateral damage. I have become collateral damage, I think.

Child of God said...

Hi Ivory,

What a tough situation you are in. When you are educated it can be very tough to work in a place with uneducated people. My suggestion for you is to find another job but in the mean time you need to make the best with what you have.

Since going to your supervisor is not working and they tell you to just keep confronting co-worker, I would say continue to eat humble pie, kindly telling co-worker she is wrong and let her know that you are up for changing things. Your co-worker is like a child that is having a temper tantrum and you cannot force them to stop but you can continue,when they calm down, tell them they are wrong and they cannot get away with what they are doing.

Good for you not bring your personal stuff to the work place because that just makes things so inefficient and just plan ol poor work ethics. Use your education and learning skills that you have to get the job done in the way you know best and continue to show the others how to do things. Change can be hard and sometimes it is like going up a fast flowing creek, hard work! But if you keep at it you will get there and maybe you can show others that your way really is better.

Still praying for you Ivory, stay strong!

Just Be Real said...

Ivory I am so very sorry for your struggles with your coworker. I can understand as well. Sometimes, I think the people they put in Management should not be there. Sure it is easier to hire someone one, but when it comes to disciplining, that is another story. I am sorry you have to go through this, but have an alternative. It is not always fun to look for another job, but if you are miserable, then so be it. I am rooting for you. Blessings.

Marj aka Thriver said...

It sounds like you are doing everything you should be doing in an appropriate way. The managers are the ones who are not pulling their weight. If you have already confronted the co-worker, then the managers need to DO something. I hope you find another job soon. Good luck.

I'm just spending a little time in the blogosphere this week because I miss my bloggy buddies, so I thought I'd stop by and say hello. xoxoxo

Ivory said...

Child of God, thanks for. Your support and prayers. I don't know how much more I can take!

JBR, thanks for your support. You are correct, my supervisor has no educatiom and is nearly half my age! She's "cute" tho!

Marj! Glad you stoped by. I hope all is well in your world. Small towns are so notorious for what I'm going through, unfortumately. My biggest problem is that one of our leadworkers is the best friend of our manager. She is pretty much allowed to bully.

Bee said...

I think you have done exactly what you should do in this situation. I agree with everyone else, it's time to move on and find a new job. A place where people appreciate you, support you, and love the fact that you have a good educational background. I hope you are able to find a new job quickly!


Just Be Real said...

Came back by to give you a safe hug.....

Kate said...

Im' sorry that your co-worker sucks so bad. I have gone through this woth bosses as well. I figured that they were the noes with degrees, at the time I didn't have one, and esxpected them to know what to do because of their education and because they were in charge of this person. I concluded they just liked having meetings where people did not resolve anything and they could continue to pretend that they were the boss. I've also seen how others are exempt over their own issues while I am being held to a higher standard. Sorry that is happening to you.

Good and healing thoughts to you.