My niece just had a baby. Now that the family is trying to act like a family and including me in some things again, my niece (Niece), texted me the baby's photo just hours after her birth. I don't usually think babies are even remotely cute, let alone beautiful, but Baby is beautiful. (even with her little cone head that she wears proudly to show her strength and determination of coming into the world).
But how safe will she be.
Looking at the photo of Baby, took me back many decades ago and I couldn't help but relive that short 30-45 seconds I was allowed to see my own baby - before she was stolen from me. [Just to elucidate: my baby was not taken from me by social services because they had investigated me and found me an unfit parent. My parents told the Dr. I was giving up my baby and I was targeted because someone knew someone who wanted a baby. A lady, saying she was from social services, came and made me sign papers telling me I had to sign them to get my baby back, when in reality, they were consent to relinquish custody papers. In other words, she was stolen.]
My baby's crying woke me up and I turned my head. There she was. The most beautiful baby I'd ever seen in my whole life. Just as I wanted to smile in the warmth of her cries, a nurse wheeled her away. I didn't see her again for 30+ years. Every day of that time, my arms ached to hold her and I never lost sight of that one and only "snap-shot" memory photo I have of her and the sound of her voice as she cried.
I constantly worried that she was unhappy, mistreated, abused, scared, and worse - dead. As I watched my younger daughter grow up, I often compared my feelings of love, worry, pride, etc that I felt for her to what I probably would have felt for my older child. My younger daughter taught me love, companionship, motherhood, patience, and giving - and how to let go without forgetting. She also has encouraged me to reconnect. I learned a lot from her, I hope she always knows how much she is loved and appreciated.
As I open my text and look at Baby's picture, I want to cry with relief that she will go home to a family (the whole family) who want her and love her and I pray she is always looked after and kept safe from harm. Life is so fragile, it only takes a moment to sever that delicate net of security and protection.
Happy Mother's Day next week, everyone.