Well, this is another one of those posts where I, ummm, sort of say, "Bless me T, for I have sinned."
Well, I haven't sinned, I just didn't say the things I should have said in my therapy session yesterday, so, I've pretty much wasted my money.
What I didn't say:
1) After coming home from my brother's house on Christmas Eve, I not only cried myself to sleep, I silently wished I'd never wake up.
2) I cried myself to sleep the next night, too.
3) I mentioned the emotional box I had wrapped up tight and sealed with tape. What I didn't say was that inside that box was a little girl who wanted to cut me up for buzzard bait.
4) I didn't say that I'm desperate to erase my past - again, and that I find myself wanting to go back and change history.
5) I didn't say this because I don't want to be crazy, or locked up, or left completely alone. I'm so alone. There is absolutely no one to talk to, no one to share anything with. I don't feel as if I really exist - I must be someone's dream, or a flake of neural matter that has managed to feel enough static electricity to call it a life.