Sunday, October 17, 2010

Old Daughter, New Daughter

My daughter "M" came and spent the night with me Friday night. I couldn't help but notice the stark difference in appearance between her and my oldes daughter (the one I've just met).

"M" is dark. Dark hair, black eyes, high cheek bones and skin the year 'round color of a wonderful tan.  I adopted her as an infant and raised her.

"O" has light hair, light blue eyes, and very fair skin - like me. She was stolen from me, adopted by a married couple and I've just met her, after 35 years.

As I talked with M, I admitted that I've found myself comparing her good nature and laid back attitude to that of O's driven nature, high octane behavior and high strung personality. M admitted she has done the comparrison, as well. We both felt guilty. Both felt we were being unfair.

Later the next day, after M left for home, O called me. During that conversation, she began to cry. "If you would have raised me, I wouldn't be so stupid." I felt my heart break. Broke into a million pieces for her.

M and O are such polar opposites, yet, I love them both so very much. The scary part is that one knows about DID, the other doesn't.


fromthesamesky said...

My heart goes out to her too, but it *wasn't your fault* - I hope you know that.

Thinking about you both and hoping that your relationship can improve. Who knows, maybe one day it will be safe for both daughters to know.

love to you,

Ivory said...

Thanks, SameSky. I'm beginning to feel as if I'm vacuum packed. This is a very stressful time.