Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Not so Simple

I had not really talked to my daughter since she was here a month ago. Then one day, I texted her. We texted all afternoon and by the time I went to bed, I was in tears.

She has some emotional issues, that's to be expected, but she has this was of thinking a conversation or issue "through" to the point that I never get to take part. What happens is that she decides what I would do or say, and then gets mad at me because of it! That's what happened the other night.

My daughter, whom I have not seen for 38 years, is mad because I won't support her in something that is illegal. We don't even really know each other, but I did make it clear that I won't support what she is doing - not to confuse it with not supporting her.

It sucks trying to find a comfortable place to be with her. I love her so much.


fromthesamesky said...

Ivory this sounds soooo hard. I'm really sorry. To have found her after so long and then to struggle to connect in a good way. :(

Grace said...

Im so sorry Ivory. I can't imagine how difficult ths is for you. I know how much you love her and how you want a relationship with her - a healthy relationship - and you know you can't suppot her doing something that is illegal and have that be healthy. So difficult. I hope she can come to see that you do love her and support her in healthy ways.
Im sorry this is so hard...
Thinking of you.... Grace

Ivory said...

Same Sky,

I would have never thot it could be so hard to connect. I really believed that I'd find her and love would bridge the lifetime gap in our lives.

Ivory said...

Thank you. I am just learning that she wants my love, says she needs me and wants me in her life, but she can't come to believe "it's" all real.

fromthesamesky said...

Ivory - ALL connections are difficult. No matter how much we want to believe that relationships don't require work - they all do, eventually. So although I totally understand how you'd want it to be perfect and beautiful because she is the daughter you've thought about throughout your life - rediscovering her was never going to be easy.

Having a difficult connection though - that doesn't erase the love there is between you. I hope you can hold onto that as well.

kerroskorner said...

((Ivory)) I'm sorry, too, this sounds really hard.

I sort of understand the playing out conversations with yourself - I do it to some degree, and a friend of mine does it. Always playing out the worst possible scenario. The difference for us, though, is that we let the conversations happen in real life - and then get thrown when they don't go how we thought. LOL

I also hope you can hold on to the love as well. ((hugs))

Ivory said...

Right now, the love is what keeps me going. I am determined to make this work!