Saturday, September 11, 2010

The Visit

My daughter and her children came to visit last week.

They'd never been here before but it felt like she came home - even to her. It was a stressful weekend because she met my mother as well as the rest of my family. I was glad when no one else was around and we could share some private time. I needed that, she needed that.

When my other daughter and I took them to the airport at the end of their visit, it was like giving her up all over again. I could barely stand it. I realized she was feeling the same by the way she avoided me and any eye contact with me. As we walked to Security, I finally said what was on my mind: that I was so glad she had come and I didn't want them all to leave. She started crying. Nuff said.

Intrestingly, on the inside, my Colors were oddly absent! I didn't even give it much thot until I was on the way home and was processing the whole visit. I can remember a few hours that Blue was prominent, but not out. Other than that, I was on my own. I also remember at one point feeling like all of us were focused and looking at my daughter, but then I let it go and enjoyed the visit.

So, all in all, it was a great time, and not just a visit - it was the beginning of a lifetime.


castorgirl said...

So bittersweet Ivory...

Take care,

Paul from Mind Parts said...

This is really good to hear Ivory. I don't fully understand what happened with your children. I am sorry for your losses, though. And I am glad that you were able to have a good visit.

Ivory said...

Thanks so much CG!

To catch you up - I was forced to give up my newborn, or rather, the Dr./hospital tricked me and basically stole her from me. They wouldn't let me get her back, saying I already signed the papers (that I couldn't see). It was awful, but we've found each other. Thank you for the sentiment, it helps to know others care.

Exhale said...

I am so happy that you were finally able to connect...may you begin to find deep healing in this area of your heart.

Marj aka Thriver said...

Wow, Ivory! I'm reading over the last several posts and this is such an amazing, heart-warming story. I'm so sorry for what you have been through. I experienced an acquaintance rape myself, in college. So, I know of some of this.

I'm so glad you had a good visit.

Hey, I answered back to you on my blog in comments but I'm not sure if you saw it: I don't want you to worry AT ALL about the blog carnival. You don't owe me any apologies. I sure know how life just happens and we all just do the best we can when we can. Usually, we have these conflicts and I just juggle around the hosts. It was ME who just didn't feel up to it last month. If you want to try to host again ANY TIME, you are so more than welcome. You just let me know when's a good time for you.

Ivory said...

Exhale and Marj,

Thank you so much for caring. Those few months I couldn't post about what was going on, were awful because I wanted to share it with everyone and get feedback about so many things! Problem was she had begun to Google me - and found a few things! But, I think I'm safe now, again.

Just Be Real said...

Glad you had a good time with your daughter Ivory. When things go good, I know it is a good feeling. Glad something positive came from this visit. Blessings.

forlothlorien said...

I am so glad you were able to have such a lovely visit! How great for all of you!