Sunday, June 6, 2010

Crashed and Burned

Well, the family meeting was last night. The first 20 minutes were okay and then suddenly, everyone was looking at me. Darn. I didn't hold up. I started to cry. BUT. My mother DID stick up for me, she DID talk them down and keep the meeting civil. I came home totally a wreck, tho, and didn't sleep for hours and, well, until this morning some time. I called her this afternoon to get her take on the evening. She feels all went well, so I told her how I was feeling and that I'm not sure it went so well, but that I was so stressed, I might have been looking for an "attack". She said she didn't think they attacked me, they just wanted to get some stuff off their minds and that we should let them have some time to think about it all. She also told me that telling them some stuff that my ex did just before he left me probably opened their eyes because they all talked about it after I left.

So, I'm still not sure about anything except that I thanked my mother for standing up for me. I told her I'm not used to that and it felt nice. She told me she had to to something different. I'm glad she did it.


castorgirl said...

It always worries me when I hear the phrase within a family context "... want[ed] to get some stuff off their minds ...". There are ways and means of getting any questions answered, and having you in tears doesn't seem an appropriate way of doing it. I can understand you almost expecting an attack, which makes the way the issues were approached even more important.

I'm sorry it was so stressful for you Ivory. I'm glad your mother helped you and realised that she had to do something different.

Please take special care of yourself this week...

Kerro said...

Ivory, hats off to you. This must have been an incredibly difficult thing to do - well done! It was bound to be hard, I can't see a way this could have been easy. I'm really glad you're mother stood up for you, too.


Grace said...

Maybe you might feel better after you process with your T?

Ivory said...

Thanks friends. I went to therapy this afternoon. All in all, the family was not a bust. My tears were the result of extreme trepidation! I was on overload and my stress was over the top and my daughter was not there. After discussing it with T, I realize that I was just too freaked out and it was too stressfull. T thinks, tho, that a few very good things came of it all and now that I'm calmed some, I can see the other positive things. I'm glad its over and i'm glad there are some good things about it.