Thursday, February 25, 2010

What do I do, Where am I, What the hell is my name?

I've lost a lot of time the last few days...

Everything in my life has been kicked around lately. On top of CoWorker Woes, I now have a Lead Worker on my case. Well, and now she has the supervisor on my case as well. It all started when they hired me a couple of years ago...

I responded to a job advertised via our local 'Unemployment Dept' (for lack of real word and for anonymity). I was interviewed for the job and at that time was told there would be some 'other duties', as well. Okay. Well I took the job and after all the paperwork was done, all the UAs, the background checks, and key cards and entry codes in place (2 days into it) I was told that they actually didn't need what that job was, they needed something else and so they hired me because that was the only job opening they had.

BUT (there's always a BUT), because it is a govt. agency and they filled the position, they now obligated me to do that job - on top of the job they hired me for. There is no physical way for me to do that. I can't make them understand that and I've been bustin' but buns for the last 6 months trying to perform miracles. It's not working.

This group of people I work with have no boundaries and very few morals. (Yes, it's still a govt agency). Now, I'm getting emails from my manager that she is disappointed in me because I got into an argument with a lead worker. I am paid the least, have one of the 2 jobs considered the butthole of the dog, and I'm the only one with a degree. The most anyone has is a few classes of college. Their lexicons consist of only a few choice words such as, s*7t; f^(k; --- you get it, I suppose. Another worker and I have asked that they not use such awful language and they insist they 'need' to vent. No they don't, not that way.

I told my lead worker that I had some forms at home so I scanned them in and added form fields to make it easier/quicker in filling them out. She immediately said, "Well, that's why you're not getting your work done. You're messing with those forms." I told her that I did them at home, so she told the boss and now I'm in trouble for doing them at home.

I'm feeling singled out and picked on. I don't know what to do. I always find myself in these situations. I probably shouldn't admit this but when I parked the car in the garage, I closed the door and left it running. I'm backed into a corner, there are not other jobs, no one to help me, and I'm so afraid. I'm so afraid. Just afraid.
;'(

11 comments:

Just Be Real said...

((((Ivory))))
Here sitting with you dear one.
Listening......

Exhale said...

Ivory,
I feel your struggle and I am sorry this is happening to you on top of everything else you have to deal with. Do you belong to a union? If so could you try talking to your union rep because you do have rights. Hope this works out quickly so the stress of it stops triggering you.

freelyfloating said...

Just want to let you know that I'm thinking of you. It sounds like you would be a real asset if they actually let you work and would quit nit-picking. Maybe your co-workers are scared that you would completely show them up if you were actually -able- to do your job. ;] Are you still looking for another job?

Take care of yourself!

Missing In Sight said...

Wish I had some words of advice. Work is hard enough without others adding to your stress.

Sending you safe hugs if you'll take them. {{{{Ivory}}}}

Grace said...

{{{{{IVORY}}}}}
I can hear how scared you are...I am here listening. I am so sorry.
So very sorry for your pain.
~ Grace

Just Be Real said...

Came back to extend more hugs to you dear one. Thinking about you.

I also have this blog: GOD WHISPERS IN THE WIND

Michelles said...

Wow, that sucks. Wish we could offer more than safe online hugs and support. Keep on keeping on.

Jaloney said...

A friend of mine had to take harrassment/sensitivity class and get written up for saying the F world. If you could somehow prove the language they are using, it might help you in the future. Please don't hurt yourself. I have LOST great jobs and found a better life afterwards. Ya just never know.

Ivory said...

Thanks everyone. It means so much to me to read that you all care. I actually had an emergency session with my T. More on that later... But thanks so much.

Paul from Mind Parts said...

Oh Ivory... Your work situation sounds horrible. I don't work in an environment like that, but if you have to be surrounded by people who are boundary-less, this cannot be good.

Even a new job that goes well is stressful... so you really have a lot going on. I hope you can take care of yourself through it all.

Ivory said...

Paul,

Yes, a new job is stressful and that's the only thing keeping me there right now. But I'm still looking for a new job. Thanks for caring. :)