Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Good Advice

I just needed to tell all of you who responded a while back on my post, Perfect Strangers - many thanks for the good advice.

Lately, I have been experiencing having a lot of trouble being able to talk business when I go to my therapist's office. I've been tongue-tied and don't know why! It's been very frustrating knowing I'm paying that much per hour to sit there and stress over my own silence. Anyway, the advice given was to talk about just that - that I couldn't seem to talk.

So when I got to my session, I started to freeze. I couldn't talk about the reasons I was there in the first place - not one thing came out of my mouth that was about me. I talked about a friend, co workers, work, bla, bla bla. After a while, it made me mad. But he encouraged me to "put one thing on the table" to talk about. So I told him I'd blogged and the advice was to talk about the fact that I suddenly find it impossible to talk about me and that he feels like a stranger to me.

It started there and ended up a good (sort of) session. We talked about a lot of things that mattered, finally. So, to all of you who are always here when I need a bit of encouragement, when I can't find a reason to live, when I need to be needed, and when I need to be heard:

One can pay back the loan of gold, 
but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind.  
~Malayan Proverb

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9 comments:

jumpinginpuddles said...

we actually take our blogs in to read to our therapist do you do the same?

Paul from Mind Parts said...

I can't recall if I gave advice on that prior post.

But I will give it here...

Sometimes I find that when I cannot talk "business", it's really that it's not business that needs to be talked about but rather experiencing feelings. And sometimes that needs to be done in non-verbal ways, like drawing.

If you feel stuck intellectually, it's a sign that it's not the right time to be intellectual.

That's usually my rule of thumb.

Hope that helps.

Ivory said...

JIP,
I took some post/comments in the beginning over a year ago but I got the feeling he felt they weren't important and he never asked about them so I just stopped. Sometimes, tho, I tell him I've asked a question or gotten responses that I am going to heed the advice on - and then I explain what it was about. He has, tho, encouraged me to blog because I have no other outlet for just needing to talk about things, other than him, and he felt I needed others to talk to because I kept asking "where is everybody like me? They have to be somewhere!" Then my daughter suggested blogging - and here I am. I love all you guys!

Ivory said...

Paul,
My T doesn't encourage drawing. I don't know if it's because that is not his expertise. When a little was with him, i saw a huge paper pad with colorings and such on it. He said it was she who did it. Maybe he has the little ones draw. I don't know. But I think you strike a chord (pun intended because you play the piano so well) with suggesting that it may be feelings that need expressing. I am on over-load with emotion. I will share that with him next Monday. Thanks!

Exhale said...

I am glad things worked out in therapy for you Ivory...

Just Be Real said...

Ivory, glad this works for you dear one. Blessings.

Kate said...

Kindnesses to you are an equalizing force considering all that you have not gotten, in my opinion. So there is no debt, only a balancing of what was meant to be. When family cannot and will not do it, the universe feels a need to fill that void. Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

Ivory said...

Exhale, JBR, and Kate,

You are so nice, I use advice I find here often - sometimes when it's advice given to someone else. Blogging has been a lifesaver! Thanks for your part in it.

Grace said...

Hey Ivory,
I'm behind in my reading so sorry this comment is late. I feel the same as you about blogging. It's nice to feel the support of others who may understand what you're going though, offer advice if need be, or just "be here".
I'm glad therapy went well.
I hope you continue on a healting path ~ I understand how difficult it can be so much of the time.
Take care, Grace