Saturday, October 31, 2009


Today is Halloween, the time for ghouls, fake blood (and vampires), witches, goblins, fairies and sprites, ballerinas, and ladybugs, etc. It doesn't mean a thing to me. The costumes don't frighten me, the meaning of it doesn't have a special place in my heart to destroy me. Nothing. I was the victim of a kind of ritualistic abuse though it didn't happen over and over throughout the years. I was groomed for about 2 1/2 years leading up to the "event". I never had a clue.

What happened to me was after Halloween and right about the time before Thanksgiving. Still, I only have a small bit of trouble with Thanksgiving. Interesting, that I never associated it with Halloween.  For me, instead of the normal costumes of Halloween, there is an obvious and blaring connection to Satan, not witches, and to possession, not the dead, and offering up the innocent, not trick-or-treats. Power had something to do with it - such as gaining power from me some how, well, I know how, I just don't talk about it.

I suppose I will never know exactly what ritual it was or if it was an isolated thing or a widely practiced thing. I'm not sure I want to know anymore, but there was a time I tried researching it and I ended up in my therapists office and spent nearly a thousand dollars I didn't have.

For all of you out there, who spend every Halloween huddled in a safe place and not answering the door, my heart goes out to you. Life shouldn't be so difficult, bad things are never welcomed by innocent children.


Just Be Real said...

Great post to all who struggle around this time of year. Sorry for your pain dear one. Thank you for sharing despite.

Blessings and safe hugs.

Saving Grace said...

yeah...I'm right here, hiding in my chair, wrapped up in a blanket. I don't loke halloween. I don't like it at all...

Paul from Mind Parts said...

I hope you got through okay! I had my troubles, but I'm very glad it's over.

Ivory said...


Yes, I did fine. Thanks for caring. I'm glad you are okay, too.