I have never confronted my mother.
I have never spoken up and told my mother how I feel about her. I pretend everything is okay and I do what I want especially when I know it will p!$$ her off. Outwardly and directly, I'm afraid of going against her and afraid of what will happen if I demand her respect.
I’ve never told her she has treated me like the “step child” (that is a phrase my brothers and brother in laws use to indicate being treated badly). I have never asked her why she couldn't love me.
I tried a couple of times.
What baffles me is that she acts like nothing was said, totally. Trying to have a conversation with my mother is like trying to step on a cockroach; she can change the topic of a conversation before I can blink. As soon as she detects words she doesn’t want to hear, she begins talking. Loud, and long, just to ignore me. If I persist, she acts like I’ve just beat her with a pain stick. She whines and acts like she's now so weak, she just won’t be able to stand up to walk to her chair, she is old – she reminds me. She acts that way if I speak any kind of reality, then she tells everyone I'm harassing her.
So, I give up and leave. I’ll never try to defend myself again, she twists everything I say and as soon as I leave, she calls my siblings and other extended family and tells them embellished fantasies about what I said or did. All to make me look bad.
I will go to my grave, tryin' to tell her, tryin' to say what she refuses to let me say. It will never be said.
Next: More of Mother’s Toxic Behavior.