Mr. S once helped me feel better about an uncomfortable situation by saying, "Sometimes, when you're up to your armpits in alligators, you forget you can reach down and pull the plug on the pond."
He likes to inject humor into my therapy sessions sometimes. :D
Anyway, one of my most recent posts (and sessions) was about his vacation. I thot I was okay with it, but I guess not. One of my alters, Lavender (the one most like me), emailed him. Does this ever happen to anyone else?
I didn't know about the email until I opened his reply this evening. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed.Lavender only asked for advice and didn't say anything bad or outside boundaries, but I wish it hadn't happened. He's too busy to be messing with me, my alters, and silly emails.I knew he was going to be away for 2 weeks. Okay, that is enough to make all of me nervous, but I have weathered this before. The only difference is that he always gave me permission to call him. He would have done the same this time but he will be where my American cell phone doesn't go. It's not that I ever call him, I don't. I just need to know that I CAN call him - he understands that, but he always tells me it's okay for me to call if I need to.With his departure looming, I had begun to make plans of my own that would keep me busy and keep the dragon (or alligator) of loneliness from breathing down my neck - T had even given me a suggestion for keeping busy. I really thot I would be okay, but maybe I 'd made too many plans. Maybe that's what set everyone off, or made someone unhappy about it all. Otherwise, Lavender wouldn't have emailed him. She's sort of my tattle-tale with good intentions person.
I think I was trying to ignore the alligators so much, I didn't know they were up to my arm pits. I am very thankful tho, that Mr.S reached over, via email, and pulled the plug. It's times like this I'm surprised I'm allowed to live alone. -_- It's times like this I wonder if all the stigma of being DID is true. :-/