You know, I think I just may give up entirely on friends and go solo.
I am friends with a woman several years my senior, we met at work 12 years ago and have been close friends since then. We have had our ups and downs and there was a 2-year separation because she (yes, it was her) had emotional issues and had a breakdown. At the worst of it, she physically attacked me at work. But we managed to patch it up and continue being friends. Then I got a divorce.
Since I've become a single again, I have noticed some very odd behavior from my friend. She suddenly wanted me to become as enamored with her husband as she is. Opposite of what you thot I would say, isn't it. But don't get the wrong idea, she just wanted me to blend into her marriage as her friend and his friend, sort of me being friends with a couple, not just friends with her as an individual; she actually wanted us to hang out together. I couldn't make her believe that SHE was my friend, not her husband.
Anyway, he likes to be the ruler of the kingdom and I have refused to become his subject so there has been conflict between the 2 of them. Again, not how you would think. My influence on her has made her realize that 1) she is not a mere extension of his body, 2) she has the same human rights he has to privacy, desire, need, etc, and 3) she especially has the right to voice her opinion/choice when the issue involves her directly. Yeah, lots of problems there. And I have been blamed for each and every one of them. Even her 40 something son, whom I've never met, has jumped on the band wagon and wants to choke the life from me because his mother told him not to talk to her the way he always does (very disrespectful).
Today via email, she invited me over to her house after ignoring me for 2 weeks. She wants us to have a nice little cooked supper and talk because, as she claims, she has come to decisions and made some personal changes. She also indicated in her email that she and her husband are having problems. Well, what does all this have to do with DID, you ask?
It is a double edged sword and is about to burn thru my heart. It will hit its mark over and over until I want to die from it. It will cause cutting and crying and I don't know how to stop it, save for the Buspirone I have safely tucked away in the cabinet...
One of the last things my ex said before he walked out on me was that I am too "broken" for him; he cannot live with me because of my alters. Believe it or not, he was never in any danger and he rarely, if ever, had to deal with any of us directly. My alters and I are the kind who push all the trauma inward and punish us, no one else. Yet, he couldn't resist letting me know that he had to "save himself" (yes, he said that) and divorce me. Only a few weeks later, he called to ask for a second chance, so we discussed dating. The next day, he called and asked me out for supper and right after we got our food, he began telling me that he just couldn't do it, he had to save himself and that he changed his mind and didn't want to ever be with me again. Ouch, a million times ouch.
Shortly after my ex moved out, my friend began to ignore me. Weeks went by; she wouldn't answer my phone calls or return emails. Finally, I asked her outright if I had offended her. (That is always a possibility of that with alters, after all) She eventually called and asked me out to supper. Over supper, just after we'd gotten our food, she angrily demanded to know if I had "Multiple Personalities". Ouch, a million times ouch.
And that is fodder for another post.